These days I’m better. I moved away from where I was living, out to the countryside.
I love it here. I love the fact that I have to leave my Friday-meeting with the theatre group so I’ll be home in time for the kids favorite TV-show. I love the family I live with. I don’t ever want to move 🙂
School is interesting as well. Although this Friday I have my first big exam, but after that mum & dad are picking me up and we’re headed to Norway for my uncles 70th birthday party. It’s going to be really fun and it’ll be nice to have the weekend off 🙂
I’ve also managed to become addicted to this song:
Love & Blue suspenders//
Since I last wrote anything here, I’ve managed to start college, move into a dorm room that I sincerely abhor, made wonderful new friends and to top it off figuring out that cardamom biscuits are really tasty. Especially if you eat them with tea. Or coffee. Or coke. I eat cardamom biscuits all the time.
I almost never remember too follow through on these sorts of things, but this is posted as a bit of a celebration… I got the top grade on my CAE! For the first time ever I had a feeling that I had managed well, and for once that good feeling in the gut was right 🙂
Fall Out Boy – The Take Over, The Breaks Over
Relient K – Up and Up
Things are kind of starting to feel alright. I’m moving soon ( signing the contract for my dorm room tomorrow), and I’ll be off to study about 300 kilometers north of where I live. But my mum says that I’m not moving out, I just won’t be home as much ^^
Love & Blue Suspenders//
I came home from Norway on the 18th. The day after yesterday Klara and I decided on going too see the new Harry Potter film. Yesterday I got a text from her saying that she hoped she didn’t interrupt me while watching the news.
I didn’t get it.
At the cinema I understood. Buildings blown up and youths shot. In the country of my father, in the country that has become home, a country where everyone should be able to feel safe. In a country that is so beautiful and where the people are so lovely.
Even though I knew, and still know, that I don’t need to worry about my family, because everyone is safe, I still manage too. I still haven’t been able to bare watching the news actively, all I can handle is small snippets here and there. And still, everything manages to move on as normal………
I’ve been feeling rather down lately. Haven’t been to school as much as I should have. Instead I call in sick, get to school for a few classes and then I panic and I go home.
I actually have a perscription for anti-anxiety pills, but I scared to death by them. When the Doc handed me the perscription, he told me to be careful since these were some of the most addictive pills in the world. I seem to be one of those persons who gets addicted really easily, hence me being so scared. My dad thinks we should get them just so that I won’t have panicattacks that lasts for hours, but I would, honestly, rather deal with the anxiety, than another addiction.
Right now I should be getting ready for school, but all I want to do is sleep and read and do something unrelated to school. Even though there’s only 16 days left until graduation, I can’t seem to find any strength for these last two weeks. I have essays with missed deadlines that has to get written and handed in, but my concentration is down below 0 at the moment.
At least I’ve decided on going in to the library today. I always seem to be more concentrated there then here at home, where there are far too many distractions playing mindgames with me. Everything just feels like it’s so wrong, the weird feeling won’t move from my stomach.
My head is just filled with chaos and I don’t seem to have the ability to sort it all out.
Love & Blue suspenders //
At a blog that I sometimes pop into, Galadarling, there is this thing that’s called Things I love Thursday. And today I love…
– Reading an House of Night book far too quickly for my own good.
– Listening to this song.
– Watching TV-shows online.
– Finding out that my hair has grown out to be 90 cm/ 35 inches.
– Dutchbraiding my hair before bed and getting braidwaves when I wake up.
– Getting a day of school.
– Finding pretty quotes.
– Eating baked potatoes.
– Getting the most perfect shoes to run around in this summer.
– Listening to Frank Sinatra while riding my bike.
– Lush‘s American Cream conditioner, Seanik shampoo bar, Lemony Flutter cuticle butter, You snap the whip! – and Aqua Mirabilis budy butters etc. etc.
– Malmö International Tattoo, and that I’m going to be living with RSNCB in the same city I go to school in starting today ending sunday.
– Taking walks.
– Having lunch with my mother.
– The dress I got for the graduate-dinner at school next week.
– MACs Kissable Lipcolour in Vanity Fair and Ruby Woo lipstick.
– Hot chocolate.
– Books! Forever books…
Love & Blue suspenders//