I’ve been feeling rather down lately. Haven’t been to school as much as I should have. Instead I call in sick, get to school for a few classes and then I panic and I go home.
I actually have a perscription for anti-anxiety pills, but I scared to death by them. When the Doc handed me the perscription, he told me to be careful since these were some of the most addictive pills in the world. I seem to be one of those persons who gets addicted really easily, hence me being so scared. My dad thinks we should get them just so that I won’t have panicattacks that lasts for hours, but I would, honestly, rather deal with the anxiety, than another addiction.
Right now I should be getting ready for school, but all I want to do is sleep and read and do something unrelated to school. Even though there’s only 16 days left until graduation, I can’t seem to find any strength for these last two weeks. I have essays with missed deadlines that has to get written and handed in, but my concentration is down below 0 at the moment.
At least I’ve decided on going in to the library today. I always seem to be more concentrated there then here at home, where there are far too many distractions playing mindgames with me. Everything just feels like it’s so wrong, the weird feeling won’t move from my stomach.
My head is just filled with chaos and I don’t seem to have the ability to sort it all out.
Love & Blue suspenders //